Holy Limericks about the Bible

Not every collection of poetry includes a chapter of Limericks about the Bible. And that’s unfortunate. Perhaps we can blame the patriarchy.

There’s a long and hallowed tradition in which Limericks reside firmly in the realm of the irreverent. Indeed, some of the most often recited limericks deal with a subject matter that has no place in the House of the Lord. But if you’ve followed the King of Limericks for any stretch of time, then you know that my Limericks are anything but traditional.

It’s with great pleasure that I’ve written Limericks about Buddha, Muhammad, and even the Bhagavad Gita. These topics of such intimate importance are far too often held at arms length or placed way up high on a pedestal. Limericks bring these lofty notions back down to Earth, allowing us to invite the sacred back into our daily lives.

That’s my intention anyway, when I compose Limericks about the Bible and other holy doctrines. Call it sacrilege if you like, but for me it’s the best possible way to enter into dialog with the wisdom of the ancients. And without dialog, the words of scripture would just whither on the vine.

Eden
Back in the Garden, before man took a bite
Before any knowledge of wrong or of right
All branching from one
We basked in the sun
But now we’re condemned to the darkness of night

Philippians 4:6
Give ears to the finch when she sings
Turn away from the ants and bee stings
Focus your mind
On what’s lovely and kind
And give thanks as you dwell on these things

I and I
Man on a mountain encounters a flame
Demands of the voice: won’t you tell me your name?
I am that I am
And I’m more than a man
Yet your Father and I are just one and the same

Hallowed Ground
When it comes to what’s righteous I never can waver
So honor the sacred and do me a favor
Come take off your sandals
And light a few candles
The essence of silence is something I savor

David and Goliath
The Philistine giant four cubits and then some
Was struck by a stone that was aimed to convince him
With unceasing credence
In Jahweh’s allegiance
That even an undersized long shot can win some

The Savior
There once was a soft spoken stranger
Who was famously born in a manger
He spoke for the meek
While turning his cheek
To the lenders who placed him in danger

Lazarus
Lazarus lay for three days in the crypt
And into the lifeless dominion he dipped
And when he returned
Half risen, half burned
You could see from his eyes that his soul had been gripped

Let There Be Logos
Knowledge for some is a switch to be flipped
A matter of wisdom so easily gripped
The single solution
A word of locution
And risen like flesh from a stone covered crypt

Judgment Day
In Sunday school class the initiate learns
To imitate Jesus with virtuous turns
To do unto others
And love all his brothers
But where will he stand when the Savior returns?

Further Reading

In the beginning was the worm

The night before Christmas, revisited

Grateful Limericks for the Soul