Holy Limericks about the Bible

Not every collection of poetry includes a chapter of Limericks about the Bible. And that’s unfortunate. Perhaps we can blame the patriarchy.

There’s a long and hallowed tradition in which Limericks reside firmly in the realm of the irreverent. Indeed, some of the most often recited limericks deal with a subject matter that has no place in the House of the Lord. But if you’ve followed the King of Limericks for any stretch of time, then you know that my Limericks are anything but traditional.

It’s with great pleasure that I’ve written Limericks about Buddha, Muhammad, and even the Bhagavad Gita. These topics of such intimate importance are far too often held at arms length or placed way up high on a pedestal. Limericks bring these lofty notions back down to Earth, allowing us to invite the sacred back into our daily lives.

That’s my intention anyway, when I compose Limericks about the Bible and other holy doctrines. Call it sacrilege if you like, but for me it’s the best possible way to enter into dialog with the wisdom of the ancients. And without dialog, the words of scripture would just whither on the vine.

     Eden
     Back in the Garden, before man took a bite
     Before any knowledge of wrong or of right
               All branching from one
               We basked in the sun
     But now we’re condemned to the darkness of night

     Philippians 4:6
     Give ears to the finch when she sings
     Turn away from the ants and bee stings
               Focus your mind
               On what’s lovely and kind
     And give thanks as you dwell on these things

     I and I
     Man on a mountain encounters a flame
     Demands of the voice: won’t you tell me your name?
               I am that I am
               And I’m more than a man
     Yet your Father and I are just one and the same

     Hallowed Ground
     When it comes to what’s righteous I never can waver
     So honor the sacred and do me a favor
               Come take off your sandals
               And light a few candles
     The essence of silence is something I savor

     David and Goliath
     The Philistine giant four cubits and then some
     Was struck by a stone that was aimed to convince him
               With unceasing credence
               In Jahweh’s allegiance
     That even an undersized long shot can win some

     The Savior
     There once was a soft spoken stranger
     Who was famously born in a manger
               He spoke for the meek
               While turning his cheek
     To the lenders who placed him in danger

     Lazarus
     Lazarus lay for three days in the crypt
     And into the lifeless dominion he dipped
               And when he returned
               Half risen, half burned
     You could see from his eyes that his soul had been gripped

     Let There Be Logos
     Knowledge for some is a switch to be flipped
     A matter of wisdom so easily gripped
               The single solution
               A word of locution
     And risen like flesh from a stone covered crypt

     Judgment Day
     In Sunday school class the initiate learns
     To imitate Jesus with virtuous turns
               To do unto others
               And love all his brothers
     But where will he stand when the Savior returns?

Further Reading

If you liked these limericks about the Bible, you’ll be sure to enjoy:

• Limericks about Theology
• Limericks about the Unknowing
• Limericks about Near Eastern Mythology
• What is a limerick?

FEATURED IMAGE: “The Rising of Lazarus” by Andrea Vaccaro, circa 1640