Poetry about Anatomy and Physiology
Cryptic Limericks about Astrology and the Zodiac
Roses are red, and limericks underrated. I wrote one for you, but my Doberman ate it.
When most people think of poetry, what they really think of are love poems. But when people think of love poems, they seldom think of limericks.
Of course, there’s the notorious tradition of dirty limericks which muddy the line between love and lust. And I’m sure we’ll get to those at some point.
This collection of limericks, however, is meant to celebrate love in its highest form. These are about the energy that makes your head spin and the world go around. It has the power to make blind men see and drive seeing men blind. It’s the bottomless well of a million cliches.
So it seems necessary to have a few limericks about love.
Hold on Tight
The surest escape from the pit of despair
Is to cradle a person and tell them you care
So drop your defenses
And heighten your senses
The next breath you take will be one that you share
Wind Me Up
Autonomous bodies belonging to one
Spinning in circles like clocks on the run
A system in action
Propelled by attraction
And I’ll be your planet if you’ll be my sun
Galactic Attraction
Ubiquitous forces they pull us together
Gravity even applies to a feather
The planets attract
And our hearts interact
In the orbit of love we are drawn by a tether
Leaving and Cleaving
We start with a family till time comes for leaving
Then search for a partner for comfort and cleaving
Through cycles and seasons
Each bond has its reasons
A union engendered by lovers believing
To Bridge the Divide
Our spirits go swimming like drops in the sea
While our bodies are tied to point A or point B
If I had my druthers
I’d merge all the others
And close up the gap that divides you from me
Con Gusto
Sometimes you need just a bit of a shove
To do things you’re less than enamored of
It might be a pain
And you’d like to complain
But do what you must, only do it with love
The Only Elixir
There’s a whole world of suff’ring below and above
From nasty black cockroach to weightless white dove
Writ large from the heart
While it tears us apart
If only we knew the true meaning of love
Plato’s Symposium
The original men with four arms and four feet
Were divided by gods into persons discrete
Now our lives are spent healing
This wound that we’re feeling
In search of that lover to make us complete
Custom limericks for lovers
Is your love a love like no other? Are you looking to express your singular passion but can’t seem to put it into words? More specifically, are you trying to compose a limerick that captures the unique circumstances of this love of yours?
If so, you’ll be thrilled to know that I also write custom limericks for private purposes. These are some of the most enjoyable limericks of all, because they are absolutely personalized. Whether it’s about love or for any other occasion, there’s no topic I can’t wrestle into a limerick. So don’t be shy, from the sweet to the filthy, I’m ready to rhyme. I’ve already written custom limericks for weddings, anniversaries, and kinky good fun.
Contact me with your request or for more details about custom limerick services.
Lovely limericks with a twist
Even as I try and take my limericks to a higher level, it’s hard to resist the temptation to include some salacious double entendre.
Paradise Found
Give thanks to your woman and show her you care
Remember when Eve offered Adam her pear?
Whatever they lost
It was well worth the cost
For there’s nothing as sweet as a breast of flesh air
Lady of the Limerick
There’s a woman excited and kind
Who by limericks was driven half blind
With absolute trust
And scholarly lust
My pen is now firm in her mind
When loving limericks turn lascivious
At least half the time, when readers go looking for limericks, they’re really looking for something titillating and borderline tasteless. In that case, my esoteric limericks about eastern mysticism may come as something of a disappointment.
But rest assured, I’m more than capable of composing some of the most offensively lecherous limericks you can imagine. And I generally try to keep them to myself. But popular demand dictates that I share a few of the milder specimens from the bottom of my proverbial barrel.
Visions of Grandeur
This time you’ve touched on a salient topic
By reaching the region below the first tropic
And odes to the bottom?
Believe me, I’ve got ‘em
I study them closely — my vision’s myopic
Low Aspirations
There’s a total of nine if I counted them right
The Natural Wonders I dream of at night
Now some say there’s seven
But the rest came from heaven
The eighth is your left cheek, the ninth is your right
Clockwork Rose
She’s a twenty ton time bomb just waiting to tick
Beaten with carrots and fed from a stick
Her temperament squirrelly
She never comes early
But just in the time of the well tempered nick
Unrequited Love
I once sung my lady a ballad
She rendered my praises invalid
It’s awkward confessing
That when I’m undressing
She’d rather be tossing a salad
Picking Daisies
There once was a waitress named Daisy
With service unhurried and lazy
My only one wish
Was to eat from her dish
For she makes my mouth water like crazy
Digital Acumen
There once was a lady from Sutton
Whose figure was second to nuttin
A bit of a flirt
In her tight-fitting skirt
With my fingers I undid her button
Thanks for the Mammaries
There’s a doozy from Dublin, the boys like to chase her
It’s long been my dream to undress and debase her
My whole body ripples
With thoughts of her nipples
While twisting the pink of my pencil eraser
Surreptitious Encounters
I know a fellow unfit for monogamy
Might go so far as to mutter misogyny
And though he abuses
He hates leaving bruises
As soon as she’s standing he’ll gladly massage her knee
The Sting
I once met a harlot from way over yonder
She left me an itch which I scratch as I ponder
And hope she returns
Cuz my member still burns
For an abscess, I’ve heard, keeps the heart growing fonder
Custom limericks
If you have a special someone who deserves to be commemorated with a limerick, feel free to drop me a line. Custom, personalized limericks are one of my specialties. Whether it’s a friend, a lover, an adversary, or something in between, we can create a one-of-a-kind original limerick just for them. Endearing or ironic, provocative or transcendent, anything is possible in the wonderful world of limericks.
Simply reach out and contact me with the click of a finger.
Further Reading
If you liked these heart-warming limericks about love and lust, you might also enjoy :
- Limericks about Buddhism
- Limericks about Nature
- Limericks about Goddesses
- Limericks about Darkness and Sorrow
- What is a Limerick?
