Cryptic Limericks about Astrology and the Zodiac

Look to the stars and there’s no telling what you might see: a doorway to the universe, a window into the past, a reflection of the human spirit. They reward us with a sense of eternity, but can also leave us feeling infinitesimally small. The most powerful telescopes gaze upward to find the origins of all things, while mystic astrologers tap the stars to uncover the unique secrets inscribed on one’s soul.

Hard-headed materialists scoff at the claims of astrology. How can the positions of the stars and planets, they beg to know, have anything to do with your personality? Following this same line of reasoning, many ancient Greeks rejected the theories of Seleucus, who ascribed the ocean tides to the phases of the moon.

Apparently, the celestial bodies do hold some sway over what happens here on earth. It’s a well-known fact that every iota of this planet and its inhabitants originated from the demise of a distant star. You can take it or leave it, but the archetypal patterns of the zodiac reveal a timeless wisdom that shines a light on both the cosmic and the mundane aspects of earthly existence.

With that in mind, I invite you to enjoy the following series of limericks about astrology. Perhaps you’ll even recognize one or two figures from this eclectic cast of characters.

Aries
Make way for the warrior who strikes with a slam
He acts on his own with the motto “I am”
A subject of Mars
Who’s drawn to fast cars
Hesitation is not for the sign of the ram

Sacred Cow
Sired by Hathor and Moon shining full
Strong as an ox with a very old soul
Illustrious Taurus
Is spread out before us
The apotheosis of Apis the bull

Dioscuri (Gemini)
The twins in the sky we call Pollux and Castor
One a mere mortal the other a Master
A foot in each realm
But who’s at the helm?
The lack of alignment can bring a disaster

A Case of the Crabs
Threshold of summer the season of Cancer
Who shuffles along like a reticent dancer
The watery sign
Can turn tears into wine
He thinks of a problem and feels for the answer

In the Lion’s Den (Leo)
The king of the jungle, an ace, number one
A natural leader, a fountain of fun
I might also mention
The need for attention
He stands in the spotlight and shines like the sun

Sign of the Virgo
Pointing out problems, the virgin inspector
The critical shell, she wears to protect her
By razor sharp reason
Her canny eye sees in
A logical blossom the wisdom its nectar

Libra
The spirit of autumn alive in the air
A pleaser of people who measures with care
      The seeker of balance
      With so many talents
Who longs to keep everything equal and fair

Scorpio
A beast of intensity, claws like T-rex
Watch out for the stinger with special effects
Always inquiring
Deeply desiring
Racked by a wanton obsession with sex

Sagittarius
An outspoken creature with critical eyes
And animal instincts but thoroughly wise
      Unfit for a saddle
      But suited for battle
With restless defiance the Centaur will rise

Capricorn
Steadily surely the Billy ascends
Gaining more ground every moment he spends
      Tenacious and rooted
      The goat’s well reputed
His work is the means of achieving his ends

Age of Aquarius
Aquarian age and the future impending
The rules and ripples are ready for bending
      Like waves in the ocean
      A change is in motion
The time for conventional thinking is ending

Pisces
A sensitive soul with the powers of healing
A sea creature stirring with sentient feeling
      The catch of the day
      Must be rubbed the right way
For she’s slippery selfless and often appealing

Further Reading

The night before Christmas, revisited

Grateful Limericks for the Soul

Reassuring Limericks about Challenges and Obstacles