Discerning Limericks about Greek Philosophers
Encouraging Limericks about Virtue and Decency
From house cats to drinking glasses, reincarnation to monotheism, it feels like the greatest pillars of civilization have come down to us by way of the ancient Egyptians. And though I may never write a poem as majestic as a pyramid or as immortal as a mummy, I can’t help but lift my pen to the spirit of Egypt. Winter or summer, night or day, the animal deities of the Nile Valley move through me, directing my thoughts and actions in ways almost inexpressible.
For three and a half millennia, we had nothing but hieroglyphics to describe their magic. But today I venture to plumb the mysteries of the north African deserts with a series of limericks about the gods and myths of ancient Egypt.
Limericks about Egyptian Gods
The first set of limericks speaks explicitly about the Book of the Dead some of the major gods in the Egyptian pantheon.
The Book of the Dead
Deep below Egypt, the Valley of Nether
Divinities join in determining whether
The soul will be lifted
Eternally gifted
But not if the heart has more weight than a feather
One Nation Under Ra
Osiris he suffered for three grueling days
His body dismembered in forty-two ways
In death ever porous
He sired young Horus
Who rose like the sun in a rally of rays
Isis
There once was a goddess called Isis
Who’s showered with treasures and spices
A mother and wife
And queen of long life
An angel through periods of crisis
The Blinding One
The hero arrives as the prophets defined him
Magicians and monarchs would all like to find him
A man of the cloth
A student of Thoth
He walks on the light with the darkness behind him
Sacred Cow
Sired by Hathor and Moon shining full
Strong as an ox with a very old soul
Illustrious Taurus
Is spread out before us
The apotheosis of Apis the bull
Egyptian Limericks with poetic license
This next set of limericks takes a more esoteric and speculative approach to Egyptian mythology and numerology, recognizing the gods and heroes as metaphors for something ineffable.
Signifier on the Mountain
The gods and their legends are nothing but arrows
Remember the glyphs that were scribbled by Pharaohs?
Like menus to meal
They point to what’s real
While swallowing symbols your mind neatly narrows
The Treasury of Secrets
Deep in the desert in faraway lands
Lost in a tomb in the shifting of sands
Guarded by serpents
From undue disturbance
Lie mysteries only the mage understands
Mummy Knows Best
Life after death is a quizzical concept
Told long ago by a Pharaoh named Hosept
Go see what he said
In the Book of the Dead
A series of secrets the mystics below kept
Near Eastern Numerology
A little more reading to help understand
And more than the Hitchhiker’s Guide I demand
The true forty-two
Has meaning for you
But also the priests where the pyramids stand
Major Egyptian figures
Finally, these two limericks eulogize one of the Pharaohs, often credited with introducing monotheism to Egypt, and my favorite name in the Egyptian pantheon, the scribe of the gods.
Akhenaten
There’s a king from the valley of cotton
A pharaoh devoted to Aten
He married a sweetie
But unlike Nefertiti
Akhenaten was quickly forgotten
Pyramid Schemes
Ancient formaldehyde stirred into broth
Soaked into tissues half eaten by moth
And mummy knows best
So prepare for the rest
And deliver your soul up to grand master Thoth
Further Reading
If you liked these limericks about Egypt, you’ll be sure to enjoy:
- Limericks about Greek Gods
- Limericks about Near Eastern Mythology
- 8 Common questions about limericks
