Beatified Limericks for All Saints' Day

It’s All Saints Day, 2024, and that means one thing: Time for a series of limericks about Catholic Saints. Not that I’m partial to the Catholic persuasion, but when in Rome…

Catholicism in particular and Christianity in general are universally labeled as monotheistic. I find that odd, since the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost are all ascribed with divinity. But then you have the Saints, and entire pantheon of beings infused with the holy spirit, above and beyond that of mortal humans.

But let’s set those theological questions aside for the time being. Instead, let’s dive straight into some sanctimonious limericks that can be enjoyed by the faithful and philistine alike.

Francis of Assisi
There’s a monk by the name of St. Francis
Who strolls in the forest and prances
While whispering words
To the mammals and birds
Who religiously fall into trances

Joseph of Cupertino
There’s a friar from East Cupertino
Who was scorned like the Grecian named Xeno
With reason confounded
He’d wander ungrounded
And float like a weightless neutrino

There’s a Christian who should have been smarter
Could his murder have been any harder?
It was out of the question
For dear Saint Sebastian
To die something less than a martyr

Limerick about Saint Thomas Aquinas — Some claim that **St. Thomas Aquinas wrote the first limerick**.

There’s a reverend Saint John of the Cross
Who endeavored to paddle across
To the ultimate goal
Reuniting his soul
With a treasure distilled from the dross

There’s a medieval martyr named Ursula
Who cited her chapter and versula
The popular version
Would claim she’s a virgin
The question: For better or worsula?

St. Thomas Aquinas
There once was a Jesuit knight
Who proved with his logic air-tight
That all of infinity’s
Touched by divinity
Ever since “Let there be light”