The night before Christmas, revisited

The night before Christmas poetry parody

It is without a doubt the most wonderful time of the year. Whether you’re relishing in ginger cookies and snowball fights or just waiting for Perry Como to go radio silent for the rest of the night, we all have our reasons for loving the holiday season. For me, it’s just another opportunity to write a whimsical poem about the pseudo-rivalry between science and religion.

The night before the Night Before

’Twas the night before the Big Bang, when all through the void
Some notions were stirring, towards Darwin and Freud
Superstitions rejected and hung out to rot
It’s shocking how quick we completely forgot

Where cryptical symbols were sacredly spoken
The stories upended and images broken
From out of such Chaos, a chariot of Truth
An empirical prancing of paws on the roof

Now, Newton! Now, Einstein! Now, Herr Oppenheimer!
Now listen! the odious tick of the timer
From the Apple of Knowledge forsaking the plums
For probable visions and practical sums

When wisdom, by Turing, is put to the test
Then where are those letters to Santa addressed?
If coal from the mischievous miscreant’s stocking
Keeps motors of industry ticking and tocking

Then icecaps will vanish from under the elves
And Bezos will eagerly fill up our shelves
So with glittering objects and shiny bright trophies
We bid you Good Luck with a train of emojis