Mystifying Limericks about Religious Problems

Taboo topics at the dinner table, religion and politics can bring even the brightest banter to a dismal finish. Neither rhyme nor reason nor poetry can rescue us from the current state of political discourse. But when it comes to tackling the most troublesome religious problems, there’s nothing like a punchy limerick to do the trick.

Some people like to lump every religious proposition into one heap and disregard the whole lot. But if you’re at all familiar with my perspective, you know I like to split hairs. I seek out the truth and the falsity in every idea. I look for the right and the wrong, knowing that they are often as inseparable as the salt and the sea.

The following set of limericks examine a range of religious stumbling blocks. Sometimes the problem lies in the belief, and sometimes it lies with the believer. And sometimes it’s just too oblique to nail down.

     Paths of Glory 
     There’s more than one method to meet the divine
     The road to salvation is not a straight line
               Skeptics, recall
               Worship no god at all
     While the foolish insist that there’s no god but mine

     Coexistence 
     The Good Book is something akin to the truth 
     With numerous cousins all under one roof
               In one common goal
               They aim to be whole
     But wrestle each other by nail and tooth

     The Irresistibility of the Unattainable  
     Though God lets us suffer we render him dear
     Like the star-crossing lover we long to be near
               The feeling is magic
               But ever so tragic
     When love’s unrequited but no less sincere

     Brotherhood of Man  
     Last night I saw God and he spoke to me thus:
     Why must you people all make such a fuss?
               You pray for your nation
               But I am Creation
     So therefore we’re equal and they’re  just like us

     Created 
     Even God can get lonely and need introspection
     So He made in His image a means of reflection
               Self conscious for sure
               But not quite so pure
     For Spirit needs flesh to achieve a connection

     Transmigration of Souls  
     There’s a comforting concept of metempsychosis
     The spirit moves on while the flesh decomposes
               But the birth rate’s exceeded
               So new souls are needed
     And this is the number one problem it poses

     Authorial Intent 
     When god wrote the Bible, he taught with benevolence
     So many pages are fraught with ambivalence
               The best revelations 
               Were lost in translations
     But mostly mistakenly, not with malevolence

     Theodicy of Dysfunction  
     Lord up in Heaven, pray tell me true 
     No parents or playmates and nothing to do
               So you fashioned a world 
               Where evil is hurled
     And suffering and pain are permitted by you

     Theodicy 
     As sorrow grows worse and the rough becomes rougher
     The struggle of living gets tougher and tougher
               In want of relief
               I question belief
     If God is so loving then why must we suffer?

Further Reading

If you liked these limericks about Religious Problems, you’ll be sure to enjoy:

• Limericks about Life After Death
• Limericks about Existentialism
• Limericks about Religion and Theology
• Limericks about the Garden of Eden
• Limericks about Inquiry
• What is a Limerick?