Limericks about Religion and Theology

Once upon a time, limericks spoke of nothing but dirty old men from Nantucket and private school instructors named Horatio. Appealing to the lowest common denominator, and employing some of the oldest parlor tricks in the book, dirty limericks set the standard for the genre.

Not until the 21st century did metaphysical limericks arrive upon the scene. And poetry would never be the same. Just when we thought that the 19th and 20th centuries had rendered God and the question of God permanently obsolete.

And so it happened, the lowest form of poetry collided head on with the most serious matters of religion and theology. So is it a religion disguised as a joke, or a joke disguised as a religion? You’ll have to decide for yourself.

In addition to my own philosophical musings, some of these limericks get into the theological disputes between early Gnostic groups like the Marcionites and the Ebionites, as well as the cultural observations of German sociologist Max Weber.

     Deconstructing God
     Theologians get put on the spot
     What is God? Let me give it a shot
               This simple notation
               Portrays the relation
     Between what is known and what’s not

     Being and Time 
     Thus have I heard it that God is a process
     And not the scorekeeper who tallies your losses
               No mystical wealth
               Just Being itself
     An effect which is more than the sum of its causes

     Theocracy 
     When the church and the state they conspire
     Then the stakes will be raised ever higher
               There’s no better way
               To make us obey
     Than by casting our souls in the fire

     Mistaken for a Miracle
     How little we learn from one singular act
     Where natural laws are no longer intact
               What dazzles me more
               Is the whole cosmic store
     The motions of planets and protons exact 

     Theogony
     An historical tidbit that’s seemingly odd
     But primitive man was afraid of being clawed
               So demons appeared 
               Like the beasts that he feared
     And that’s why the Devil is older than God

     Justice and Judgment 
     There’s an eparch ensconced in a gold-plated palace
     As well as a priest with a staff and a chalice
               Proclaiming salvation 
               From utter damnation 
     Decide for yourself if it’s mercy or malice

     Protestant Ethic and Capitalist Spirit
     Attached to the doctrine of predestination
     The Calvinist gloats in advancing his station
               It’s surely a sign
               Of a higher design
     And not just a passion for gratification 

     The Gnostic Controversy 
     The Ebonites claim He was merely a mortal
     Born of a mother quite normally fertile
               Compare the docetic
               Whose view was prophetic
     A spirit whose body was plainly a portal

     Marcion of Sinope 
     The Gnostics they knew of a second creator 
     One with a wrath and another much greater
               In six days of strain
               He devised the mundane 
     The eternal one actually showed himself later

Further Reading

If you liked these limericks about religion and theology, you’ll be sure to enjoy:

• Limericks about Religious Problems
• Limericks about Life after Death
• 8 Common questions about limericks