Engaging Limericks about Egypt

From house cats to drinking glasses, reincarnation to monotheism, it feels like the greatest pillars of civilization have come down to us by way of the ancient Egyptians. And though I may never write a poem as majestic as a pyramid or as immortal as a mummy, I can’t help but lift my pen to the spirit of Egypt. Winter or summer, night or day, the animal deities of the Nile Valley move through me, directing my thoughts and actions in ways almost inexpressible.

For three and a half millennia, we had nothing but hieroglyphics to describe their magic. But today I venture to plumb the mysteries of the north African deserts with a series of limericks about the gods and myths of ancient Egypt.

Limericks about Egyptian Gods

The first set of limericks speaks explicitly about the Book of the Dead some of the major gods in the Egyptian pantheon.

     The Book of the Dead 
     Deep below Egypt, the Valley of Nether
     Divinities join in determining whether
               The soul will be lifted
               Eternally gifted
     But not if the heart has more weight than a feather

     One Nation Under Ra 
     Osiris he suffered for three grueling days
     His body dismembered in forty-two ways
               In death ever porous
               He sired young Horus
     Who rose like the sun in a rally of rays

     Isis
     There once was a goddess called Isis
     Who’s showered with treasures and spices
               A mother and wife
               And queen of long life
     An angel through periods of crisis

     The Blinding One 
     The hero arrives as the prophets defined him
     Magicians and monarchs would all like to find him
               A man of the cloth
               A student of Thoth
     He walks on the light with the darkness behind him

     Sacred Cow 
     Sired by Hathor and Moon shining full
     Strong as an ox with a very old soul
               Illustrious Taurus
               Is spread out before us
     The apotheosis of Apis the bull

Egyptian Limericks with poetic license

This next set of limericks takes a more esoteric and speculative approach to Egyptian mythology and numerology, recognizing the gods and heroes as metaphors for something ineffable.

    Signifier on the Mountain 
     The gods and their legends are nothing but arrows
     Remember the glyphs that were scribbled by Pharaohs?
               Like menus to meal
               They point to what’s real
     While swallowing symbols your mind neatly narrows

     The Treasury of Secrets 
     Deep in the desert in faraway lands
     Lost in a tomb in the shifting of sands
               Guarded by serpents
               From undue disturbance
     Lie mysteries only the mage understands

     Mummy Knows Best 
     Life after death is a quizzical concept
     Told long ago by a Pharaoh named Hosept
               Go see what he said
               In the Book of the Dead
     A series of secrets the mystics below kept

     Near Eastern Numerology 
     A little more reading to help understand
     And more than the Hitchhiker’s Guide I demand
               The true forty-two
               Has meaning for you
     But also the priests where the pyramids stand

Major Egyptian figures

Finally, these two limericks eulogize one of the Pharaohs, often credited with introducing monotheism to Egypt, and my favorite name in the Egyptian pantheon, the scribe of the gods.

    Akhenaten 
     There’s a king from the valley of cotton
     A pharaoh devoted to Aten
               He married a sweetie
               But unlike Nefertiti
     Akhenaten was quickly forgotten

     Pyramid Schemes 
     Ancient formaldehyde stirred into broth
     Soaked into tissues half eaten by moth
               And mummy knows best
               So prepare for the rest
     And deliver your soul up to grand master Thoth

Further Reading

If you liked these limericks about Egypt, you’ll be sure to enjoy:

• Limericks about Greek Gods
• Limericks about Near Eastern Mythology
• 8 Common questions about limericks