Limericks about Ancient Rome

When we speak of Rome, what comes to mind? We think of the Eternal City. We think of an Empire that brought the western world to its knees. We think of a city to which all roads lead and which wasn’t built in a day. But chances are, we ain’t thinking about limericks.

On the other hand, is there an art form known to man that hasn’t given the great Triumvirate its own special treatment? Renaissance painters cranked out canvases by the thousands. Then of course, Shakespeare had his way with Antony and Cleopatra. Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton gave their rendition. I think even Mel Brooks took a stab at it. So why not some limericks about Ancient Rome?

In any case, if you want to teach high school kids about ancient Rome, good luck getting them to read “Julius Caesar” and “Titus Andronicus” or to memorize that colossal list of Roman emperors. Instead, keep it short. Unlike the Eternal City, the rise and fall of their teenage attention spans is likely to sweep by in a matter of seconds.

     Spartacus
     There was once a disgruntled young Thracian
     Enslaved by the Plebeian nation
               He flouted his master
               Fomenting disaster
     He should have respected his station

Most of us probably know more about Spartacus from the movies than we do from high school history class. But his message of resistance is worth remembering.

     Julius Caesar 
     There once was a fine Roman Kaiser
     Who thought himself ever the wiser
               Like Jesus and Judas
               Old Caesar had Brutus
     Who made of him fresh fertilizer

     Cicero 
     There once was a Roman orator
     Who’s also an expert debater
               His rock solid reason
               Amounted to treason
     Marc Antony called him a traitor

     Virgil 
     There’s a scribe who could make Latin soar
     Narrating an elegant war
               Just hear what he says
               In media res
     Old Virgil was nobody’s bore

     “Carpe Diem”
     There’s a Roman with something to say
     About living your life the right way
               The credo of Horace
               Is meant to implore us
     And lead us to seize every day

The Rise and the Fall

Emperors, poets, rhetoricians, aqueducts, Rome had it all. But then, like all good things, it came to an end.

     Attila the Hun
     There’s a warlord Attila the Hun
     Who kept Roman ranks on the run
               A murdering savage
               Who knew how to ravage
     He toppled an empire for fun

     “Memento Mori”
     Don’t hesitate, or you’ll regret
     But be not proud, and pay your debt
               Rome, too, was strong
               But not for long
     That we are mortal, don’t forget

At some point in my limerick writing career—apparently it was right around the fall of the Roman Empire—I decided to add an extra step to the measure of my rhymes, giving a few more syllables to lines 1, 2, and 5. With this slight increase, I could bring considerably more depth to these short works.

     The Fall of Rome
     The Romans they fell, as you may well have read
     For drinking like gluttons and being overfed
               Those decadent creatures
               Have something to teach us
     The water they drank it was tainted with lead

Maybe we can’t learn every emperor’s name in chronological order, but let’s hope we can still learn a little something from their mistakes.

Further Reading

If you liked these limericks about Ancient Rome, you’ll be sure to enjoy :

• Limericks about Greek Mythology
• Limericks about Greek Philosophers
• Limericks about Greek Myths and Heroes
• Limericks about Ancient Egypt
• What is a Limerick?