Highfalutin Limericks: Nerd alert

My dad would have celebrated his 80th birthday last month, and seldom does a day go by that I don’t think of him. He was an avid reader, or more accurately an obsessive compulsive one. He was also a writing instructor. And in one the many memorable maxims he offered his students, he advised them: “Write to express, not to impress.”

As you can see, I’ve never forgotten those wise words. At the same time, other paragons illustrate the importance of breaking the rules, defying our heroes, and setting our own standards. Where would we be, after all, if Adam hadn’t bitten the forbidden fruit, or if Prometheus hadn’t shared the incendiary flame?

If I felt inclined to give myself an overabundant benefit of the doubt, I could justify my blatant disregard for my dad’s advice with those mythological examples. I might even cite the second epilogue of War and Peace, in which Tolstoy pedantically casts aspersions on the entire notion of free will.

But I’m not going to do that. Instead, I’m going to accept full responsibility for my actions. And in the spirit of full disclosure, I unapologetically put forth the following collection of highfalutin limericks and distinguished doggerel.

A recherché recitation

          Pulp Diction
          Please don’t report me to your local constabulary
          But sometimes I just like to flex my vocabulary
          When I’m trying to convey something slightly spectacular
          I can’t be content with the common vernacular
          I don’t mean to sound debonair or duplicitous
          I simply insist that my words are felicitous
          Your pardon I beg for coming off as imperious
          It’s a penchant of mine, all pedantic and serious
          I’ve been called ostentatious and many things worse
          In language too coarse to include in this verse
          My only response is to maintain my mettle
          Not be stymied by childish prattle
          I’ve faced every form of intransigent static
          But still I stand firm self-assured and phlegmatic

A perambulation of highfalutin limericks

Here are a few unorthodox limericks concerning cognitive dissonance, Martin Heidegger and Friedrich Nietzsche.

     Passing Fancies
     Psychic vicissitudes working cross purposes
     One thought dissolves and another one surfaces
               Feelings are fleeting
               So watch as you’re greeting
     The many sensations that consciousness furnishes

     Being and Time
     Thus have I heard it that God is a process
     And not the scorekeeper who tallies your losses
               No mystical wealth
               Just Being itself
     An effect which is more than the sum of its causes

     Twilight of the Idols
     As day turns to night and the sky grows crepuscular
     The heroes we worshipped look less and less muscular
               Ascend as you should
               Beyond evil and good
     At dawn you weren’t ready but maybe at dusk you were

Further Reading

If you enjoyed these highfalutin limericks, please consider supporting me by ordering a one of my limerick collections from Amazon. You might also enjoy some other provocative articles.

• 13 Educational Limericks
• The History of Limericks
• Serious Limericks: There once was an unsmiling rhymer